Thursday, February 28

Weight Gain; Branko rides the bus

Well here is little Branko riding the bus, on his first birthday no less! This was an especially bad day for us; our roof was being fixed, so no nap. He also barely ate anything that day. It was hot. He refused to go in the stroller, so I used a carrier. Soon enough, the carrier wasn't any good, as I assume it simply turned into sandpaper or hot forks, so in my arms he stayed, for most of the day. A well-deserved dose of pediatric Advil was on the menu that evening.

We have never had trouble getting Branko to eat. He eats a ton. He likes most food, though he is going through a picky 18-month developmental thing right now, so eating is a bit more difficult. But overall, no complaints. The mysterious part is that he cannot seem to gain weight. He had a growth spurt when he was first born, so we were pretty lucky there, and then another when he got into solid foods at 5-6 months. Other than that, every pediatrician appointment is usually anxiety-inducing. I have had to disappear during the weigh-ins, leaving Branko with my husband, to collect myself in the washroom and breathe into a brown paper bag just like in the movies. I have now lowered my expectations to the point where if he hasn't LOST weight, I'm happy.

It's very hard. I have had strangers comment on his size or make grimacing faces when I disclose his age. I have had acquaintances make sly suggestions on what other foods I should be feeding him. I have had people say, "Let me take him home. I'll fatten him up!" Cause, yeah, I hadn't thought of actually FEEDING the boy. Yes, everyone, I HAVE been researching fatty, nutritious foods to the brink of obsession. And yes, I've googled 'baby solid food weigh gain' or 'baby can't gain weight' probably 400 times in the past year. And yes, I think I've tried everything I can possibly try to get him to pack on the pounds. I am just starting to get over this strange compulsion to actually apologize for his size.  I am now beginning to realize how super fucked-up that is. But that was me. Apologizing. SORRY, WORLD: MY BABY IS NOT CHUBBY. --> (that was me, like 6 months ago, in case you weren't following)

The only thing that would make me feel better about this is if he would just fatten up ever so slightly. Have another small growth spurt, I dare you! In the meantime, I take solace in the few internet mommy blogs and Pinterest boards that discuss failure to gain weight, especially if it's alongside a health concern. Not that I'm happy to hear about other sick babies... but it's nice to not feel completely alone with this problem every second of the day.